This language does not allow a discourse on the differences between the sexes in the context of the sex industry. We freely discuss that most of the industry’s victims are women, and most abusers (especially sex buyers) are men. Male people who identify as women are a distinct group in this context. They are disproportionately represented among the victims, but as sex buyers, they do not differ from the other men, statistically and behaviorally. Hopefully, someone will have the courage to research this one day, so we need clear language for that purpose.
The-lie-that-there-are-not-two-sexes-harms-survivorsView PDF (1 pages)
I am a mental health provider and want to support survivors who feel unsafe around men. In order to begin healing, a person needs physical and psychological safety. Men who call themselves women are still men, and they are experienced by traumatized women as men. To pretend otherwise, perpetuates the trauma that survivors are trying to recover from. Men who are victims can have their own safe space.
Men who suffer sexual assault are usually victimized by other men. Given this, males may, in fact, not be comfortable having a same-sex rape counselor or therapist, which a female would most likely prefer/require. In addition, men from their infantcy (and before) are overwhelmingly in physical and emotional contact with their mothers or other female caretakers, which acclimates them to that source of support. So while same-sex advocacy may be crucial for women, many men may feel more comfortable being counseled and supported by a woman as well -rather than a same-sex therapist.
I totally understand that some men, victimized by other men, would prefer female therapists. However, it still supports the claim that the ability to identify the therapist’s sex correctly is crucial in the treatment process.
* I am the OP.
No. Let men do their own homework for a change. Only men will make men change. We do grown men no favors allowing and enabling them to remain little boys. They’re not.
As a woman who was sexually exploited in the commercial sexual exploitation industry by both sex buyers and producers of mainstream & BDSM pornography I have experienced several hundreds of men who asked me to “force feminize” them as a form of extreme humiliation. Many of those men had correlating paraphilias, many were exhibitionists contacting me online, through webcam platforms or other digital exploitation websites, while at work – exposing themselves to me (and others potentially).
During my time as a so called “Domina” most of the men contacting me demanded this kind of treatment. And many called themselves “women” and “she/her” on their own social media. These men are all paraphiliacs and there is no way that any woman should be forced to accept them in our spaces and no government should allow them to change their sex markers.